Daily Divination for October 7th, 2012

a three card tarot spread with the nine of cups, the world and the six of wands reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Nine of Cups

In the past, you were quite good at surmounting obstacles and completely our goals, obtaining financial gain in the process.

Present: The World

Now, you feel as though you are a success. You have achieved all the goals you have set out for yourself.

Future: The Six of Wands Reversed

Unfortunately, your future endevours will be plagued by delays and disloyalty.

Internet, I don’t know how, but you’ve found a way to make money off of Instagram. All of those self-portraits in your bathroom mirror have really paid off… somehow. Unfortunately, all of your internet friends are going to copy your swagger and dilute the market to the point were it’s no longer profitable for you. You’ll have to find another bandwagon to hitch a ride on.

Daily Divination for October 26th, 2012

a three card tarot spread with the star, the king of cups and temperance reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Star

In the past you were full of inspiration and hope for the future.

Present: The King of Cups

Now, you’ve found that you have become a responsible businessperson with a keen interest in the arts.

Future: Temperance Reversed

If things continue along this path, surprisingly, you will find your life full of discord hostility.

Internet, you’re a creative person. Your prints of video game characters sploshing cakes have become hits with the hipster community. Just make sure that you don’t stray too far from the mainstream and become out of touch in the future.

Daily Divination for October 25th, 2012

a three card tarot spread with the hierophant reversed, the ten of pentacles and the four of pentacles
Past Present Future

Past: The Hierophant Reversed

In the past, you wear overly constricted by rules and regulations.

Present: The Ten of Pentacles

Despite your restrictive upbringing, you find yourself now very prosperous.

Future: The Four of Pentacles

If things continue along this path, you will find that you become miserly and controlling over your family’s resources.

Internet, you parents wouldn’t let you do anything fun, when you were little, because they were afraid that you were going to get hurt. Now that you have grown up and made a small fortune you are starting to find that you are as controlling over your money as they were over your life. Buy yourself something nice before all that currency gets devalued!

Daily Divination for October 24th, 2012

a three card tarot spread with judgement reversed, the hanged man and the page of cups reversed
Past Present Future

Past: Judgement Reversed

In the past, you managed to slip by and escape punishment for you misdeeds.

Present: The Hanged Man

But, now, your past has caught up to you and you will be made to answer for you actions.

Future: The Page of Cups Reversed

If things continue along this path, people will view you as a deviant and mistrust you.

Internet, you thought you were so clever with your seven proxies and your aliases, but an internet detective have finally tracked you down and you’re going to be made to pay for all your trolling. Your real name is going to be released and no one is going to like you anymore. neener neener

Daily Divination for October 23rd, 2012

a three card tarot spread with the page of swords reversed, the ten of cups and the five of wands reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Page of Swords Reversed

In the past you knew a person that you later discovered was a fraud.

Present: The Ten of Cups

Now, you’ve overcome your dealings with this unscrupulous to create for yourself a life of love and contentment.

Future: The Five of Wands Reversed

Unfortunately, the horrible person from your past is going to return and trick you yet again.

Internet, you gave a person your Farmville password because they said they could get you lots of gold and special items. It turned out they were lying and they just stole all your cows instead. You’ve only just now gotten your farm back to the way you like it. Unfortunately, you’re going to fall for the same trick again in the future, because you are dumb.

Daily Divination for October 22nd, 2012

a three card tarot spread with the ten of pentacles reversed, the two of wands reversed and the three of cups reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Ten of Pentacles Reversed

You grew up in a poor broken home.

Present: The Two of Wands Reversed

You find yourself, now, full of sadness and unable to overcome your horrible past.

Future: The Three of Cups Reversed

In the future, you will find yourself wasting your money overindulging in various vices.

Internet, you life sucks and it’s not going to get any better. You better just spend all you time and money playing video games.