Daily Divination for November 18th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the queen of wands, the hermit reversed and strength
Past Present Future

Past: The Queen of Wands

In the past, you had a meaningful friendship with a very kind woman.

Present: The Hermit Reversed

Now, you find yourself acting immaturely and committing foolish acts.

Future: Strength

If things continue in his way, you will find yourself committing an act of valor.

Internet, your mom is your best friend. Well, actually, your only friend. So, why, when you are visiting her house, do you use her computer to troll others on the internet? An internet detective is going to mistake her for the real troll and you’re going to have to swoop in and save her from a drama bomb!

Daily Divination for November 17th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the seven of cups reversed, the wheel of fortune reversed and the hanged man
Past Present Future

Past: The Seven of Cups Reversed

In the past, you had many desires and the willpower to attain them.

Present: The Wheel of Fortune Reversed

Now, you find tat outside forces are interfering with your goals.

Future: The Hanged Man

If things continue along this path, you will find your life stagnating and you will be unable to move forward.

Internet, you have always had strong Google-fu, but you’ve recently been hit very hard in the head and your vocabulary has suffered. Without proper medical attention, you will be unable to think up the synonyms you need to find the obscure websites with the rare information you need. Poor you and stuff.

Daily Divination for November 16th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the knight of swords reversed, the sun reversed and the four of cups reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Knight of Swords Reversed

In the past, you made impulsive mistakes.

Present: The Sun Reversed

Now, you find yourself all alone and unhappy.

Future: The Four of Cups Reversed

If things continue along this path, things will eventually turn around and you will be able to make new friends.

Internet, all you did was argue with the alpha fedora-wearing brony, that that there was not such thing as a “fake geek”. You didn’t know it would get you extradited from the “Friends of Equestria” fanclub forever. Don’t you worry though, next year the rebut of Sailor Moon starts and you’ll have another chance to appropriate and obsess over a show aimed at little girls. You’ll totally understand it better than them, though. Cartoons are wasted on the youth.

Daily Divination for November 15th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the four of wands, the five of cups reversed and the six of cups reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Four of Wands

In the past, you experienced a harmonious romance.

Present: The Five of Cups Reversed

Now, your romance has hit a rough patch, but you are pulling through it.

Future: The Six of Cups Reversed

If things continue along this path, you will find yourself coming upon new opportunities.

Internet, never has a person loved a machine more than you. Your love affair with your laptop is legendary. Sure, there was a bit of a rough patch recently when its hard drive fail, but together you both pulled through and soon you will reach new horizons by learning C++ together. Have at it, you crazy kids!

Daily Divination for November 14th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the five of wands, the king of pentacles and the moon
Past Present Future

Past: The Five of Wands

In the past, you were unable to get your desires satisfied. There were always obstacles blocking your path.

Present: The King of Pentacles

Now, you’ve made a loyal friend with whom you might want to start a romantic relationship with.

Future: The Moon

If things continue along this path, it will actually turn out that your friend was being deceptive and you will be let heartbroken.

Internet, there were a great many things you would like to be doing on the internet that you can’t because you keep running up against paywalls. No matter, you’ve made yourself an in real life friend, who will keep your mind off of the internet and its many wonders… Actually, no they won’t. They just want to be your friend so that you will let your guard down and give them the opportunity to steal your priceless action figures.

Daily Divination for November 13th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the four of cups reversed, the devil reversed and the high priestess reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Four of Cups Reversed

In the past, you made new friends all the time.

Present: The Devil Reversed

Now, you’ve decided to refocus your energies on attaining enlightenment.

Future: The High Priestess Reversed

If things continue along this path, you will be unsuccessful in your efforts to attain enlightenment.

Internet, you spent much of your past internet life amassing twitter followers. Now you’re trying to have meaningful conversations with them. It won’t happen.