Daily Divination for October 7th, 2012

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Alright, so the world didn’t end today. What are you gonna do? Sue me?

a three card tarot spread with the knight of wands, the queen of wands reversed and the three of swords reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Knight of Wands

In the past, you went on a long journey to escape your troubles.

Present: The Queen of Wands Reversed

Now, you find yourself in a strange land with people whose way of life you find disgusting.

Future: The Three of Swords Reversed

In things continue in this way, you will find yourself alienated from your fellow man and unable to cope.

Internet, you decided to turn off your computer and go outside, but you found out that the outdoors is filled with active people, like, jogging and stuff. You find it really annoying and you’d go back inside, but you’ve locked yourself out. You’d call a locksmith, but your crippling social anxiety disorder prevents you from using a phone.

Daily Divination for October 6th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with strength reversed, the two of cups and a blank card
Past Present Future

Past: Strength Reversed

In the past, you suffered a major illness that caused you weakness that lasted a long time.

Present: The Two of Cups

Despite your past misfortune, you find yourself deeply in love, now, with a partner that understands you.

Future: Blank

There is no future.

Internet, your ass-mar got the better of you for awhile, but that cute goth chick has finally come around and decided to go to the convention with you. Too bad the world is ending tomorrow.

Daily Divination for October 5th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the two of swords, the hanged man and the page of pentacles reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Two of Swords

In the past your intuition has served as your main strength. You were able to achieve balance and harmony easily.

Present: The Hanged Man

Today, you find yourself at a stalemate, unable to move forward. Your creative force has been used up.

Future: The Page of Pentacles Reversed

If things do not change, you will find yourself in an unending creative slump, which ends in financial ruin.

Internet, you jumped on the tumblr bandwagon before anybody else and created the best “faces on inanimate objects” blog of all time, but you’re running out of things to put faces on and people are losing interest. Your ad revenue is plummeting. You need to come up with a new idea!

Daily Divination for October 4th, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the emperor, the five of wands reversed and the chariot reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The Emperor

In the past, you have clung to order and deferred to those in a position of authority.

Present: The Five of Wands Reversed

Right now, you trying and failing to imitate those authority figures that you looked up to.

Future: The Chariot Reversed

If things continue on this path, your willpower will be broken and you will be left dejected and powerless.

So, Internet, you were hanging around on a forum and you thought “Hey! Being a mod looks like fun. I’m going to make a forum of my own!”. Well, it isn’t so fun now, is it? These trolls are going to break you, kid. It doesn’t matter how many times you break out the banhammer, you’re never going to achieve order. Just go back to reddit and hang your head in shame.

Daily Divination for October 3rd, 2012

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a three card tarot spread with the five of cups, the empress and the six of cups
Past Present Future

Past: The Five of Cups

You have experienced a loss in the past that has hurt you greatly. You fail to realize that you haven’t lost everything and you still have some things to feel thankful for.

Present: The Empress

Today, you have been giving into your carnal desires, which, surprisingly, will lead to a birth of new creativity.

Future: The Six of Cups

If this continue on their present course, you will find yourself looking at the past in a pleasant new light and will be able to move forward peacefully.

Internet, your hard drive may have fail, but you still have your thumb drives. You ate a bunch of Jos. Louis and the sugar high gave you a good idea for a new meme. You’ll remember your lost memes fondly, but you’ll realize that using them over and over again was holding you back. It is time to move on, Internet.

Daily Divination for October 2nd, 2012

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a three card taro spread with the king of cups reversed, the three of wands and the four of swords reversed
Past Present Future

Past: The King of Cups Reversed

In the past, diplomacy has failed. You’ve been forced to go against your nurturing nature and act in a destructive manner to meet your goals.

Present: The Three of Wands

Today, you’re looking forward to a journey that may lead to financial gain and an escape from your past woes.

Future: The Four of Swords Reversed

If things continue along this path, you obtain the financial gain that you seek, but you will be haunted by the methods that you used to obtain it.

Basically, Internet, you’ve been trolling your opponents to drive them out crazy and make them quit the internets. You’ve recently moved your blog to a new domain that people will like more, but you will feel ashamed at all the other blogs and people you had to destroy to be successful.